Stop Networking Like It's 1995: Why Most Business Networking is Absolute Rubbish (And What Actually Works)

Here's something that'll ruffle some feathers: 87% of the networking events I've attended in Melbourne over the past eighteen years have been complete wastes of time. There, I said it.

You know the drill. You rock up to some hotel conference room that smells like instant coffee and desperation, armed with a stack of business cards that cost more than your lunch. Everyone's doing that awkward shuffle-and-chat dance, desperately trying to work out who's worth talking to and who's just there for the free cheese platter.

Related Articles:

• Brand Local Blog
• Workplace Abuse Training

I've been running leadership development programs across Australia for nearly two decades now. Started as a wide-eyed consultant who thought networking meant collecting as many business cards as possible. What a mug I was.

The problem with traditional networking? It's transactional as hell. Everyone's thinking "what can this person do for ME?" instead of "how can I genuinely help this human being?" And frankly, people can smell that desperation from across the room.

The Uncomfortable Truth About Modern Networking

Most networking advice is still stuck in the Don Draper era. "Work the room!" "Always have your elevator pitch ready!" "Follow up within 24 hours!" Bollocks to all of that.

Here's what I've learnt after facilitating hundreds of professional development sessions and watching thousands of people try to "network their way to success": the best connections happen when you're not trying to network at all.

Take my mate Sarah from Adelaide. Runs a mid-sized accounting firm. Never goes to networking events. Never. But she's got the strongest professional network I've ever seen. Her secret? She actually gives a damn about people.

The Sarah Method (as I call it):

• She remembers personal details about clients' families
• Sends articles that might interest contacts (not sales pitches)
• Introduces people who should know each other
• Offers genuine help without expecting anything back

Revolutionary stuff, right? Treating people like actual humans instead of walking business opportunities.

Why LinkedIn is Ruining Everything

Don't get me started on LinkedIn networking. Half the connection requests I get are from people I've never met, with messages like "I'd love to add you to my professional network!" followed immediately by a sales pitch.

LinkedIn's turned networking into a numbers game. "I've got 5000 connections!" they brag. So what? I'd rather have fifty meaningful professional relationships than five thousand random strangers who connected with me because we're both in "business development."

The platform's encouraging all the wrong behaviours. Generic messages. Mass connection requests. Those cringeworthy "thought leadership" posts that read like they were written by a corporate communications team. (You know the ones: "I was walking through the city yesterday when I saw a homeless person, and it made me think about synergistic solutions in the B2B space...")

What Actually Works (Spoiler: It's Not What You Think)

After nearly twenty years of watching what works and what doesn't, here's my controversial take: the best networking happens in places that aren't networking events.

Community involvement beats schmoozing every time. Join your local chamber of commerce? Maybe. But you're better off volunteering for a cause you actually care about. I've made more valuable professional connections through my local footy club than at any "Business Networking Breakfast" in Brisbane.

Industry events work differently than you think. Don't go to sell. Go to learn. The people worth knowing are usually the ones asking thoughtful questions, not the ones handing out business cards like they're dealing poker.

Follow-up is everything, but not how you think. That 24-hour rule? Garbage. Sometimes the best follow-up happens six months later when you stumble across something that reminds you of a conversation. "Saw this article about sustainable packaging and remembered our chat about your eco-friendly initiative. Thought you might find it interesting."

Here's something most networking gurus won't tell you: sometimes the best professional relationship building happens over a beer, complaining about the industry. Shared frustrations create stronger bonds than shared opportunities.

The Authenticity Problem

This word gets thrown around like confetti at business seminars, but here's the thing: you can't fake authenticity. People can tell when you're putting on your "professional face" versus when you're actually being yourself.

I learnt this the hard way at a client meeting in Perth back in 2018. Spent the first hour trying to impress them with corporate jargon and carefully crafted responses. Then their office coffee machine broke, we all had a laugh about it, and suddenly we were having a real conversation about the challenges they were facing. Guess which part of the meeting led to a long-term consulting relationship?

The best professional connections I've made happened when I stopped trying to be "professional" and started being myself. Turns out, people prefer working with humans, not walking LinkedIn profiles.

Regional Differences (Because Australia's Not Just Sydney and Melbourne)

Something interesting I've noticed after running programs across the country: networking culture varies dramatically between cities.

Perth networking feels more genuine somehow. Maybe it's the isolation factor, but people seem more willing to invest in long-term professional relationships. Less transactional, more community-minded.

Brisbane's different again. More laid-back approach. The best business conversations happen at barbecues, not boardrooms. I've seen million-dollar deals get started over a game of cricket.

Adelaide's often underestimated. Smaller business community means reputation matters more. You can't burn bridges and expect to survive professionally. This creates a culture of genuine relationship building out of necessity.

Sydney and Melbourne? They're so caught up in appearing important that they've forgotten how to have real conversations. Everyone's performing instead of connecting.

The Introvert Advantage

Here's another unpopular opinion: introverts are often better at networking than extroverts. They just do it differently.

Extroverts work the room, meet everyone, make surface connections. Introverts find one or two interesting people and have deeper conversations. Guess which approach leads to stronger professional relationships?

I've seen introverted managers in Perth build more influential networks than their extroverted counterparts simply because they listened more than they talked. They asked better questions. They remembered details. They followed up thoughtfully.

The networking industry's obsession with "working the room" discriminates against people who prefer quality conversations over quantity connections. It's time we acknowledged that different personality types network differently, and that's perfectly fine.

Technology's Role (It's Not What You Think)

Everyone assumes technology has revolutionised networking. LinkedIn, Twitter, industry forums, virtual networking events. But has it really made things better?

Virtual networking events became huge during COVID. Most were terrible. Breakout rooms with strangers, trying to have meaningful conversations through pixelated video connections. The technology was fighting against human nature, not supporting it.

The winners were the ones who used technology to enhance existing relationships, not replace face-to-face interaction. Video calls with people you already knew. Digital tools to stay in touch between in-person meetings.

Social media networking works best when it feels social, not networky. Share industry insights because you find them interesting, not because you're trying to position yourself as a thought leader. Comment on posts because you have something genuine to add, not because you're trying to get noticed.

The Real Secret (That Isn't Really Secret)

After all this ranting, here's the simple truth that every networking guru already knows but complicates with fancy frameworks: be genuinely interested in other people and their success.

That's it. That's the secret.

Not "be interested because it might benefit you later." Actually care about whether they succeed. Celebrate their wins. Offer help when they're struggling. Make introductions that benefit them, even if there's nothing in it for you.

This approach works because it's rare. Most people are so focused on their own agenda that genuine interest stands out like a beacon.

I started doing this accidentally after getting burnt out on traditional networking in 2019. Decided to just be helpful instead of strategic. Best decision I ever made. My business grew, my stress levels dropped, and I actually enjoyed meeting new people again.

The relationship between giving and receiving in professional networks isn't linear. You might help someone today and benefit from a completely different connection two years from now. But if you're keeping score, you're missing the point.

Final thought: The best networking happens when you stop calling it networking and start calling it "meeting interesting people and seeing how you can help." Everything else is just tactics.

Trust me on this one. I've been getting it wrong long enough to know what right looks like.